perspective

Ok. This will be the last post from my trip. I promise.

In this small little town that I grew up in, I was the only girl in my class of seven until second grade. We all went to school together, played together, and even went to church together. It was pretty tight knit. Really, my friend that I visited on this trip is the only one I've been in touch with. We've chatted on and off through the years, but about a year and a half ago was when we started to connect more regularly.

One of the kids from our class passed out one night and never woke up again. He was only 21. Even though I hadn't talked to him in a very long time, it was still very troubling as we watched as days passed and he still didn't wake up. He had been to the doctor a few days before saying he didn't feel well and he had some pain in his leg. They seemed to brush it off a bit and the end of the matter was that he had a blood clot in his leg that then moved to his lungs and at that point, there was nothing they could do.

I wanted to see his grave. I was a little disappointed at how little his grave was, but it sounds like he had an amazing group of people at the funeral. 

I went on this trip to visit my friend, but also to get a break from some daily stresses I've been facing. Standing at this grave really helped give me some perspective. Obadiah's family will never get to see him again. They'll never get to see what he was going to accomplish and what kind of person he would be. He was on the brink of some of the most defining years of his life and we'll never be able to see what he'd become.

I pushed through college because I knew I needed a degree. Ever since I was little I thought you just do high school, be 25, and then get married and have your own family. I guess I disregarded the years between 18 and 25 and now I'm living them, it's like my little kid subconcious knew what was up. The difficulty is that the older friends I made seemed more relaxed, but now it's the most stress I've ever been a part of. And there's so much more at stake when they're older too. I've had a hard time believing that this too shall pass. Which is funny because some of the most pain I've ever felt was just a few months ago and somehow I lived through that. But seeing Obi's grave brought more emotion to me than I had anticipated.

I get to wake up each morning. I get to sit and laugh with my family. I get to sit and cry with my family. I get to see my sisters be ever so happy building lives with their new husbands. I get to look out my window every day and see the mountains. I get to go play on those mountains. I get to countdown for football season to start again. I get to go brewery hopping. I get to sit around pools all day and coach adorable littles. 

I get to breathe in and out every day. 

Even when some days it feels like that's all I'm doing.

I don't know what my life has in store for me. But I get to live it. And I hope I can remember that and remember Obi with each passing day. And I hope that remembering Obi makes me live each day to the fullest and focus on the good versus the stresses. 

the a.t.

After our drive to Ash-vegas, my friend drove out of the way to take me on a short little hike. He kept saying we were going to hike above tree line which was very confusing to me because everywhere I looked, it was still green. I guess they define above tree line as literally no more trees, although it's still green. 

Anyways, it was gorgeous. We hiked a bit of the Appalachian Trail and I believe from the top, looking one way we saw North Carolina, and looking the other way we saw Tennessee with Virginia way off in the distance.

We passed these people on the hike and when I turned around, I noticed the lighting was super cool. I snapped this picture of them then when we passed them again, I told them that in the least creepy way possible they looked really cool. I hope I made their day because they got so excited they starting spitting their phone number at me so I could text it to them. It is a pretty cool picture though. 

I also noticed this moss on the rocks...this is unfamiliar to my hiking experiences in the great Rockies. 

Needless to say, this little hike made me wish I could afford 5 months away from life to hike the whole trail from Maine to Georgia. One can dream right? Maybe a bucket list item.

But just to make sure it's clear where my allegiance lies, here's this little bit for ya. 

All in all, it was a great little get away and I really enjoyed getting to catch up with my friend and see my old house. I never imagined it would be a comfort, but I guess life has a funny way of doing things. 

the house that built me

Another chapter. Don't get me wrong, I'm a Colorado girl through and through, but sometimes I still like a little salt on my watermelon while I listen to some folky/blugrassy/acoustic music. Having spent most of my childhood in the hills of East Tennessee, I guess some of it still leaks out now and again. I'm sure everyone looks back at parts of their childhood and wish it didn't all happen. But when you look again, being a kid was kind of awesome. You didn't have to worry about money, food, or what you were going to do with your life...at least most of us didn't. We just got to run around and play and be a kid. I don't keep in touch with too many kids I grew up with, but sometimes re-connecting with an old friend can be sweet for the soul. 

This year has definitely been a trip so far. I wouldn't say it's been the best, but I have high hopes for the last half. I love my job. I love seeing the mountains every day. I love that I can talk to my family. Sometimes not having very many friends can make things feel more difficult. And sometimes people you've known, or at least thought you've known, for a long time can let you down. And sometimes even new friends can let you down. And it will hit ya right in the gut when it comes at just the right moment. I like to think that in general I'm pretty good at reading people. As of late, I either misread some people or simply didn't listen to my gut. But once I tuned in again, it was a tad too late. So I'm back to square one and hoping that I've learned my lesson. 

But it's been tough. A person can only take so much stress, so many emotional highs and lows, until they need a break. I never thought I'd return to my little East Tennessee beginnings. And I definitely never thought I'd view it as a comfort. But as I've said before, life sometimes has some major curve-balls and you've just got to learn to keep playing. So last week I went to visit an old friend...who so happens to be in my old town. 

 We got some of my favorite food....which we ate all weekend...and my hosts were so kind in welcoming me with only 2 weeks notice. 

We visited some of my favorite parks, including where my old boat had been docked, and toured some of the same places our families/fieldtrips always went...and yes, the lilly pad boat ride was still as boring as I remember it being...but the wolves are still cool.

We then walked around the old neighborhood and realized that not much had changed...but all the fields look remarkably smaller and the hill where my dad let go of my bike the first time has definitely flattened out some. 

We climbed the same front yard tree and re-made a pretty cute picture if I don't say so myself. 

And we celebrated the 4th with a good 'ol fashioned small-town feel...and who can't smile while about to endulge in a beer AND a funnel cake?!?

The next day we swung on by Asheville, NC as I had never been there, but was told it was pretty cool. Plus, I'm always up for some good brewery hopping after a gorgeous drive. 

All in all it was a great trip. A break from my reality that was desperately needed. Now back in reality, I think I could go for another trip already, but luckily some busy plans with family should help soften the blow. 

(Side note: I can't figure out how to make the pictures do what I want them to, so I gave up- reason for the weird spacing, etc.)

you're welcome

This guy is your new obsession. He's so smooth, so emotionally connected, so awesome. And yes, the same thing happened to me. I also didn't expect that sound to come from that man.