this marathon is quickly becoming a sprint

Well that was a VERY fast Thanksgiving break. A week is only so long and when school takes 2 of your days, well, there's not much time left. Luckily, there are only 2 weeks left of school this semester. I can't wait for an entire month off school. It will be wonderful!

This semester has gone pretty fast. As miserable as I was at times, it really did fly by. After this Thanksgiving break, I've learned I'm quite thankful for a lot of things. 

1) My family- even across all sorts of crazy miles, we make it work and I love them all dearly.
2) Grace- in every situation. Don't know where I'd be today without it. 
3) My boyfriend- almost 18 months and still going strong. We've had our rough spots and even through this school year as my stress levels began to stress him out, he stayed with me and I love him so very much. 
4) Health- my sister has stayed strong and healthy in Taiwan, my bf is still in remission, my dad's back has recovered, and our lives haven't encountered much more than a couple colds.
5) My dog- the poor old man is fighting so hard to live. I'm very happy his will power allows him to keep fighting and still be happy.
6) My church- I love the pastors and I love their families. So glad I found a spot I can fit in. 
7) Protection- for me, for my family, for my bf, and for all my friends. Through so much traveling done around me this year, I'm very grateful nothing bad happened. 
8) It's almost Christmas!!! That not only means snow and family and presents, it means a break from school and another semester over. One step closer to being done for good!! 

I could go on, but I feel as though I've made my point. It was a splendid break and I'm very glad there are only two weeks left until I can return home. 

Well, it's getting a little late and I am getting very sleepy. Unfortunately, the late start on my drive back, then all the wonderful traffic and snow, made for a later return to my apartment than planned. I had to give up my hot chocolate, Friends episode, and cuddle time to unpacking and getting ready for a new week. Finals are coming up and I am determined to try my hardest to at least past my two hardest classes this semester...I am not a science person so why I ever thought I could be a science major I have no idea. Thank God I've changed to Psychology.

Anyways. Goodnight world. Let the snow fall while I sleep so it really can begin to look a lot like Christmas!

it's one of those nights

It's freezing outside and a little bit cloudy. I've already napped twice today and am definitely feeling ready for break. My roommate is gone for the night and mom sent me home with some left over dinner to heat up. What better way to top it all off than with Harry and Sally??

Seriously, my favorite movie, and if you haven't seen it, I suggest watching it right away. It's superb!! And significantly better than My Best Friend's Wedding. I guess having guys as my best friends for so many years makes me feel a special warmth when watching the movies about friends forever... Although, according to Harry, a guy and a girl can't just be best friends because there's always a romantic connection...

Anyways. Watch it. :)

home is where the heart is

Yesterday I went home. Even if it was only for one night, I really think that going home is good for me. Living in Greeley, I don't get to see the mountains too much. I remember when I was first looking at schools I didn't want to go far away because I didn't want to leave my beautiful Rocky Mountains! Just being in Greeley, I get super excited as soon as Pikes Peak is in view. I literally cranked my stereo and was singing along with Taylor Swift, who I'm rather sick of and think needs to get over herself. It's crazy how just seeing a mountain can help my heart so much.

When I finally got home, I picked up my little, old dog and ran up to my room. Unfortunately, my room is quite empty as most of my stuff is at school and mom and dad are rapidly cleaning out the rest for the storage unit. Nevertheless, I was very excited to see my room. It almost feels like being a little kid on Christmas morning.

Then I got to go to church and see some of the people who have impacted my life the most. I love it. I love feeling like I belong. I love knowing my way around town. I love seeing the mountains and not feeling lost. I love sitting on my couch and being back in the chaos of family life.

Unfortunately, family life has changed drastically. One sister moved home this summer and the other one moved about as far away as possible. One sister who missed most everything in my high school years is suddenly a part of my college life, and the other who was around for all of high school, is now gone during my college years. I guess change is the only constant in life, but that doesn't make me like it anymore.

I don't like when I have to leave home. I don't even like leaving my mom, my best friend, after all that we went through in my "rebellious" teenage years. If I could turn back time, I would do so much differently, mainly making the most of my time at home. My time with my mom, and my time with my friends. It's kind of crazy how true it is that you don't realize how good something is until it's gone.

Growing up is so overrated. This will be the first Christmas my whole family won't be home. It's odd. I think my dog just sleeps waiting for us all to come through the door again. I may not notice my sister being so far away because I'm not really home to feel the hole, but especially in the upcoming holiday season, it will definitely feel like something is missing.

Anyways. In this moment, I couldn't agree more with the saying "home is where the heart is." Thankfully there are only two more days of classes and I can return to my room for more than just one night. 

Passion

I'm talking on the phone with my boyfriend right now. He loves school. Literally, loves school. I don't understand how, or why, or how he even has such a drive. I guess you could say he's one of those "career oriented" kinds of people. Talking to him and listening to his drive makes me wonder what my drive is. 

Have you ever thought about it? What makes you get up in the morning? What makes each day different than the last? What is your drive to make each day a day worth living, not just another day to check off your list? 

I hate school. With everything in me, I can't understand why anyone could find it enjoyable. I guess every now and then I come across a class that I don't mind, but the homework and grades always ruin it for me. So as I ponder why I'm at school, I only think of it from the standpoint that having a degree, of any kind, will enhance the chances of me finding (as my sister would say) "a lucrative and fulfilling job." Considering that's my only reason for being in school, each day is just another day done in hopes that I got more homework done and the semester will be over so I can start my real life. 

But what will my "real life" look like? Will I actually find something to be passionate about?

Besides the story of Christ, Webster has a lot of definitions for passion, but the one that intrigues me is "a strong liking or desire for or devotion to some activity, object, or concept." 

Wow. I think the only thing I've ever been passionate about was swimming, but then I got burnt out, so now I just want to coach it. I wouldn't count that as a desire though. The only other thing I can think of is babies. Considering I don't have any, and won't for a good few years, they're rather a hard thing to be passionate about. 

Being raised going to church every Sunday, I've read and heard my share of stories about hanging out in the slums of India, or building huts in a remote village in Africa, or chilling with the homeless men under the bridge, or volunteering at a shelter...in other words, the "how to" of changing the world. I'm not really passionate about any of that though. What if all I want to do is help one girl. Be it saving her from sex trafficking, of just listening to her talk about life, all it has to be is one girl. Then maybe she'll be the one who goes out to reach the world. Sure, missions are great and I enjoy going on them, but it's not something I'd want to dedicate my life to. 

So I guess finding one girl to help navigate her way through this chaos we call life could be a passion. It doesn't matter how drastic the situation, I still want to be there to help. I don't want to think of it as a project though. More of something that happens to come along and possibly be a blessing in disguise. 

Maybe just the thought of being able to help her, whoever she may be, is my reason to get up in the morning. My reason to make today, and the next day, and the day after that, a day worth living.